Pictures of Betty Lou and me

The picture with the dark background was in 2000 at the Rio in Las Vegas.









The middle picture was taken in my apartment before I moved from Kansas to Iowa. Patti was the baby in the picture with Betty Lou and
Martie, another teacher. This was early in 1960.






The bottom photo was taken
at the Hoover Museum in
2006 when Betty visited us.

My Friend Betty Lou

Ft. Riley teachers had an in-service day before the first day of school. I met Betty Lou that day. I thought she looked like she might be a phys ed teacher but I was wrong. She made the first move to get acquainted.

We were in separate wings of the building because she taught kindergarten and I taught 4th grade. In fact, my room number was 13. The principal asked if I wanted the number changed and I told them it was fine the way it was.

I taught all the classes except music. I always felt I could teach music easier than teaching art - that was difficult for me.

Betty Lou and I sometimes played piano in her room at lunch time. We quite often ate lunch together. Sometimes several of us would drive over to the PX to have lunch. We also socialized outside of school. We went to movies and concerts at K-State. We saw Louis Armstrong in concert there and really enjoyed it.

Sometimes several teachers and their spouses went boating on a nearby lake and had picnics. Betty was single but was always included in the group.

Betty Lou and I kept in touch over the years. We wrote oftener at the beginning and then it turned into birthday and Christmas cards for many years. We saw each other three or four times over the years.

Betty Lou invited us to visit her in Las Vegas which we did in December 2000. It seemed almost like going back to teach after summer vacation because we picked up where we left off. She visited Don and me about a year later and we visited her once more a year or so later.

She is one of the few people who calls me "Betty" and I never fuss about it. I think I still call her Betty Lou.

Jobs I've Held, Part 1

My first job was as a "soda jerk" at Rexall Drugs in Ness City. Then I was a "soda jerk" at College Drugstore in Manhattan while attending Kansas State. All in all, I worked as a "soda jerk" for five years.

Then I left K-State to teach 4th grade at Ft. Riley Elementary School in September 1955. I had 22 students when the year began but when it ended there were 36 students. I was so glad that I started with a small class because I had never been in a classroom before and I was scared. The first little girl to come in was even more afraid than I - that helped a lot! The reason for the increase was the fact that the "Big Red One" came back to their home base at Ft. Filey from an army base in Germany.

I loved teaching and the first year learned more than the kids did, I am sure. One of the girls was so smart that she could have taught the class. Her name was Blair and she was a great helper. The kids ranged from very bright to those who were very slow at learning. These youngsters had lived all over the world so they were well-traveled and I had been out of the USA except for a trip across the border to shop in Tia Juana!

I taught at Ft. Riley for 4 1/2 years and really enjoyed it. I met a young woman who became a lifelong friend at the first meeting the teachers had before school started. Her name was Betty Lou. More about our friendship in another post.

Growing into a Faithful Christian Part 2

We bought a house in Marion and moved December 1961. One of our neighbors invited Patti, Tony and me to attend church with her and her two girls. Patti was 4 and Tony was 2. So we began attending church regularly.

When Patti was in kindergarten, I helped teach her Sunday School class. The next year the lead teachers moved to a church closer to their home. I inherited the class and taught it with a helper until Patti was a junior in high school.

We attended church services after Sunday School. Patti and Tony grew up sitting in the second pew. They told me if they had to go to church, they wanted to sit so they could see the pastor. Usually no one sat in the first pew so they had a good view of the pastor.

We didn't attend any of the extra services. This was my choice because I didn't want to attend without their dad. I did join the choir in 1977. It was a very small choir when I started singing - so small, in fact, that three of us altos sang tenor for several years because we had no one singing tenor. As the choir grew, we were able to return to singing alto.

Fast forward to 1982. I was single and going through a rough time. One particular gal from work would call me. We'd talk and she'd suggest that I turn to Hebrews and read it. Every time I opened my Bible, it opened to James. So she said I should read James. She encouraged me and helped me a lot by her friendship.

I became more active in church taking many Bible study classes. I continued singing in choir and also began ringing in handbell choir. Both groups were very supportive and I loved the music.

During this time, I discovered that God used me, even in my brokenness, to help other women who found themselves suddenly single. Sometimes what I said to others were the words I needed to hear. I felt very blessed to be used to help others, all the while growing in my faith.

Growing into a Faithful Christian, Part 1

I haven't written about my faith. I grew up going to Sunday School and church. My Dad taught a Sunday School class for young marrieds. I can remember him sitting on the sofa working on his Sunday School lesson with his Bible open on the sofa arm. My Mother didn't attend church. I think, sometime in the early years of living in Ness City, someone criticized her clothes and offended her so she never went back. She did, however, see that I was up and ready to go every Sunday.

A new Free Methodist preacher and his family moved in to the basement church next door to our house when I was in fourth grade. Half of the building was the church and the other half was the family's living quarters. Their daughter, Shirley, was one day older than I. We because fast friends and still are. She invited me to come to their Wednesday evening services.

So I began attending the Wednesday evening services. It was here that Jesus touched my heart the first time. I was like the rocky soil where the seeds fell and couldn't take root. Somehow there was no one to help me learn more.

When I went to Kansas State College, I attended church occasionally - usually when a group of us gals would all go together. I know I missed out on getting acquainted with some neat people because I didn't attend the fellowship meetings on campus.

Fast forward to the early '60s. We were married and living in Cedar Rapids. We checked out several churches but didn't find one we wanted to attend. Both of us grew up attending church. It is so easy to fall away when one doesn't attend church for a while.

There wasn't much "growing into a faithful Christian" during this time.

Mysteries

We always have a mystery or two to solve as family historians and genealogists. When we find one answer, it usually leads us to another mystery.

I had some information about my gret-grandfather, Simon Peter Loop. He was born in 1839 in McKean County, PA. He married Clara Tucker in Missouri. He lived in Valley Township, Rice County, Kansas, near a small town named Alden. He was a farmer and well thought of in the community. Four of his children were born in McKean County, PA; two were born in Missouri, and twins were born in Rice County, KS.

I knew he moved to Oklahoma at some point in time but I didn't know when. There was my mystery.

He lived in Manchester, OK. I discovered this town was located in Grant County so I checked out the Grant County web site. I posted queries on the Grant County web site and the Loop list. I checked out various parts of the web site. There was one button that said "Homesteaders Memorial." I ignored it "until I have more time."

I received several answers to my queries. One gave information about a book on the Loop family in America. The other told me about the pioneer monument in Medford, OK, with emailed photos of the monument itself.

This is when I went back to the Grant County web site and I clicked on the "Pioneer Memorial" button. This was a monument to the early settlers, many of whom took part in the September 16, 1893, Land Rush. There was a picture of the Oklahoma Homesteaders Memorial located the the Grant County seat. The names of the pioneers were engraved on the back of the memorial. Simon Peter Loop, his son George Amos Loop, and George's son, Fred L, were listed.

I believe those three took part in the 1893 Land Rush but I do not have conclusive proof because the names engraved on the memorial also included other early settlers. Even though I found Simon Peter Loop's name on the memorial, there is still the mystery of proving exactly when he went to Oklahoma.

So you see, there is always another mystery to solve!

A Poem

This was written in Denver, Colorado, when I visited my Mom and brother Bill. The words all came to me while I was reading a book. A very insistent message came to me to put down the book and write the words. It took a couple messages before I put the book down. The words were all there. I did not change one word.

April 21, 1991
In a book I read
"I'll speak to you day and night,"
You said.

The messages that come
By day
I hear and see
with small delay.

Those messages that come by night
Seem to be hidden
From my sight.

I ask from you
Some hints
To help my struggles
Make more sense.

I ask that you
Open my eyes
That I may see
Your planned surprise.

I ask that you
Open my ears
That I may hear -
Even through my tears.

I give you thanks
For all of these -
The messages I
Hear and receive.

As you guide me
On my way
I give you thanks
Every Day.

Travel

Traveling to strange places was not something I had much chance to do. Growing up I visited California a couple times, once by train on the El Capitan; the other time by car with Mom, brother Bob and his wife Inez and their adorable blonde haired, blue-eyed 18 month old son. We did drive across the border into Tia Juana once.

One of the responsibilities of my job at LeFebure was arranging travel for some of the sales and service guys. The travel agency I worked with offered my boss or his V.P. a familiarization tour of Amsterdam. Both men turned it down so the agency offered the trip to me. My only expense would be $200. What a deal!

The trip was over a long weekend. We rode in a bus from Cedar Rapids to Chicago O'Hare. We left there at 7 p.m. and arrived in Amsterdam at 7 a.m. the next morning. We did not go to bed until that evening so we were up 24 hours.

We visited the flower auction - just like an estate auction only with flower buyers. There were tulips in nearly every color and other flowers, too. The building where the auction took place was huge.

We stayed at the Sonesta Hotel. It was rated a five star hotel. Very amazing place to stay. It was connected to a health club by a tunnel. More about the health club later.

We visited Rembrandt's museum and saw his painting, "Night Watch." It was behind a plexiglass shield with a guard standing by because some nut had slashed it previously. It had been repaired, however.

We took a ride on the canal. The tall, skinny houses that lined the canal were built in the 1500s. Amazing.

We ate a buffet lunch Sunday at the Kerrhaus on the Black Sea. I ate cavier and fried squid (the latter tasted like rubber). Loved the cavier, however.

We stopped at a working cheese factory powered by a windmill. I bought a wheel of cheese to bring home. The Dutch keep the best cheese and export the rest. Yummy stuff!

We also visited the Von Moppes diamond factory. No one was working except the sales staff because it was Saturday. I bought a small gold wooden shoe replica with small chip diamonds across the top of it.

We toured the "red light" district. Prostitution is legal there. It was very strange. The women were dressed in their white bras and panties, standing in a "room" about the size of a small closet. The front was a window and they used black light. It was a bit embarrassing to this small town girl.

We tried different cuisines while we were there. One was Thai, I believe. It was very spicy and not to my taste but intereting to sample.

Back to the health club: After riding on the canal and looking up at those tall skinny buildings the first day, my neck was very stiff. I called the health club and made an appointment to have a massage. Boy, was I surprised when the massage therapist walked in! It was a guy who was studying sports medicine. They had given me a small towel. When he said, "Okay, lady you can drop the towel," I figured oh what the heck, I'll never see him again.

That evening in the hotel, we were waiting for the full contingent to come down to go out to dinner and who should come in but that same young man. He nodded to me politely and said, "Good evening, lady." This story has given us lots of laughs over the years!

Some More of my "Handiwork"

The two-strand necklace is made with amethyst chips, size 8 seed beads, 3 colors of Swarovski crystals: amethyst, light amethyst and white opal. The focal bead is a glass heart made with amethyst, black and some white. It was a birthday gift to granddaughter Jessica.

The turquoise necklace is mine. It is made with a silver and turquoise pendant and turquoise beads with a few ruby Swarovski crystals and some tiny silver beads.

I'm very proud of both necklaces. I enjoy wearing my "handiwork" - and the work itself gets lots of compliments.

It's Important to Learn the Lesson the First Time!

Who would ever know there were so many lessons to learn when one becomes 'single again?' So much to learn that it sometimes seems overwhelming.

I learned how important it was to stay busy - and especially on special days. The photo was taken on my 50th birthday. It had been a wonderful day with balloons, flowers, phone calls and cards. All this happened at work. I figured it had been such a special day and I was tired, so I would go home and spend the evening alone. I did and it was a mistake! I didn't believe anything could spoil the day since I woke up singing "happy birthday" to myself!

The first months I lived on adrenilin and nerves, knowing that eventually I would crash. I slept from about midnight to 5 a.m. People knew they could call me late because I would be up. I learned to eat when I was hungry because I didn't have much appetite. One person saw me eating a donut and asked me how I could eat that. I told her I might not be hungry the rest of the day. Of course, the crash came and I needed to take care of myself - rest and eat right.

Dating was a challenge. I dated one man for about a year - fell head over heels for him. When he broke it off, I was crushed and shed lots of tears. Some months later he wanted to be part of my life again. I thought about it - and was tempted. There was a lesson to learn - and I didn't want to have a "do over." So I said, "thanks, but no thanks."

Lots and lots of lessons to learn.

Home

This was written first in 1992. There are some changes that I will write about at a later date. The left photo is of the little white house I grew up in many years ago. The right photo is of me in my condo.

It is strange how "home" evolves. I grew up in a small town in southwestern Kansas. The only house I remember is the little white house we moved the family of three boys, our parents, and me into. This small house with the front porch where I watched the world go by remains "home" in my heart. It remained home until 1955 when I married. Other places have become home over the years.

There was an apartment and a small house in Junction City that was home for a while. There was another small house in Odgen, KS; another apartment in Junction City that was home for Patti and me. Then we moved to Iowa and lived in a story-and-a-half rental house for a while.

About a year passed before we bought a house in Marion, IA, that was home to us and Patti and Tony. That house was "home" for twenty years. The children grew up there. The transformation from young married to having grown children occurred in this house.

My address changed as I moved into a very small apartment located in Marion. I remained there for eight years. It was small but secure and really only a place for me to sleep and return to at the end of the day. I don't believe it ever became "home" because I always referred to it as "the apartment."

I moved to Cedar Rapids December 18, 1989 - a move that I thought I would never make. Somehow I thought Marion would remain my place of residence forever. This changed when I moved into a condo on the northeast side of Cedar Rapids.

As I drove to my home, the trees and buildings make me feel a bit hostalgic. I loved the condo. It really became "home" for me. I found contentment and serenity in that lovely place that had my own personal stamp on it.

The summer of 1990, I returned to southwestern Kansas revisiting the little white house with the porch where I lived during my childhood. My mother, brothers and I walked through the empty house. I discovered it was just a house that was waiting for someone to come live in it to make it a "home" again. I also found that the "home" I lived in while growing up is always available to me because it lives in my heart.

You Can't Go Home Again

Once a wise man said, "You can't ever go home again." Many people would disagree with this. From my own experience, I would agree.

Several years ago, my 90 year young mother, my three brothers and I visited the house where I grew up. At that time, it was a rental property. So here we were in the house where Mom lived for forty-five years. We had all lived there for varying lengths of time. I lived there from the time I was two until I went away to college. The brothers lived there some time less than I because they are older.

The house was empty. The light colored walls had been paneled with dark panelling. The pastel carpet was now dark brown. The airy sheer curtains were gone and the windows had no covering. This was not "home." It was simply the house where I grew up. This was when I learned that "home" lives in the memories we keep in our hearts.

Several years later this experience helped me explain to my niece, after Mother's funeral, that "home" remains in our memories and not in the reality of a house.

Once again I am learning about my inability to return "home." By chance I have returned to my small home town to live after 40 years. During those years the majority of the time was spent in a small city of approximagely 120,000 people.

It is always strange how a place evolves into "home." That small city had become "home" to me. I had no thoughts nor plans to leave it and return to the "home" of my youth. Yet here I am living in my small hometown with a population of less than 2,000 people.

Many faces are familiar. When I ask if that is so-and-so I am told it is the son or grandson. It is always a surprise. the younger generation looks so much like the people I used to know! There are people who attend church with me who knew my parents and brothers - and me as a youngster! (Isn't it strange? I thought they were ancient when I was growing up and they are still alive and kicking! Not so ancient, I guess.)

Adjusting to everyone knowing me and all about my business is a challenge. In that small city, there was whatever degree of anonymity one desired. There were loving people who cared about me. So friendship and anonymity existed side by side - not a bad thing.

One can return "home" only when that individual has remained entirely the same with no experiences to change him/her. Otherwise, it is simply not "the same." But would one want it to be "the same?"

Note: this was written May, 1996, but it was interesting to think about going "home again."

The Valley of the Shadow

We all walk through the valley of the Shadow many times during our lives. Our valleys may be called "Death" or "Loss" or "Change." They may have other names, too.

These valleys can be the death of a friend or family member; the death/loss of a relationship; the loss of a job; the change in a friendship; moving from our "home" to a new place; the change in some very special part of our lives. Perhaps this valley involves losing our freedom or mobility or our freedom to come and go as we please.

As long as we remember we are not alone as we traverse this valley, we will arrive safely on the other side. We carry the love and support of family and friends in our hearts. The outward signs of this love and support are the emails, telephone calls, letters, and maybe even the hugs we receive from these people.

It is important to remember that when those who love and care about us are absent from the scene, we are still not alone. God is with us. Sometimes He has to wait for us to recognize this fact. Nevertheless, He remains faithful - even when we turn our backs on Him.

Note: this was first written June 23, 1992.

An Adventure or Two

I never thought about whether I was brave or not. It never entered my mind to think about it. Sometimes bravery can seem a little like stupidity. One particular event comes to mind.

Through a friend I met another lady in the midst of a divorce. She lived in the apartment a block or so from my apartment. She was a nice lady who became interested in a fellow. She called me one Saturday morning to ask if I would pick her up at her friend's place because her ex-husband was sitting in his car outside.

So I got in my little red car and drove to where she was. I pulled in the driveway and her "ex" pulled in behind me. My friend came out and got in the car. Her "ex" didn't move but he got out of the car and headed up the driveway.

I got out of the car and told him he needed to move his car so we could leave. I was 5'4" and 125 pounds then - and he was 6'4" or 6'5" and probably 200 pounds. He wasn't about to move and said so. I told him to get out of my way or I'd call the cops and beyond that I would testify against him in court. He finally left.

An interesting sidelight was this man was a repairman for the telephone company. He came in the following Monday to work on the telephone system. It was my job to meet him at the front desk and take him where he needed to go. It was as if he had never seen me before.

I lived in my little apartment from Nov. 1981 thru Dec. 18, 1989. The building had eight apartments, four on the ground floor and floor up one level.

Sometime after I moved there, an ex-military man about 30 moved in upstairs with his much younger girlfriend. I heard the late at nights - he yelled at her a lot.

The yelling started abou 2 a.m. one weekend - it woke me up. The yelling progressed to hitting and I could hear him beating her. Those little apartments were not soundproofed! This seemed to go on a long time.

Finally I dialled 9-1-1 and reported what was going on. The police called the landlord and met him at the apartment. Things settled down after that.

Several days later the landlord stopped by and asked how everything was - no more noise, etc.

I told him if the couple stayed upstairs I would be moving! He didn't like it much but he evicted the couple.

Later I found out the teen aged girl was the daughter of a co-worker.

More Things I Learned

Someone told me that a person will find someone exactly like the previous spouse and marry that person. Usually the same results will follow - another divorce.

This point was brought home to me through a friendship with another couple. We three served on an advisory board. I liked both of them. I thought the man was really a neat guy. As we became better acquainted I realized the man was very much like my ex-spouse only with some weird traits all his own.

This lesson showed me how easily a mistake could be made. I was so glad I learned this!

Timing is Everything
It is important to take time to grieve the end of a marriage. The chances are great that a person will jump into a new relationship without grieving the end of the marriage - and that new relationship will end up on the rocks.

Some say that, if a divorced person doesn't remarry within two years, it won't ever happen. Not so! Remember timing is everything!

I observed one lady who had been divorced several years. An interesting
man showed up at Lutheran Singles. He was at the beginning of his divorce. The lady really liked him but the timing was all wrong. She was ready for a relationship and he wasn't. Timing, truly, is everything.

Blame
There is always enough blame to go around in any divorce. I have rarely seen a couple where one did everything right and the other was completely to blame for the break-up.

It would have been so much easier if my spouse had walked out. Then I could have blamed it all on him. :-)

It usually isn't the big things that cause a break-up. It is the little things, that, over time, build up that finally can't be ignored.

Support
Any person who is going through a difficult time needs a good support system. It can be family, friends or church. A number of people in my church choir were my main support. I could go to choir practice and be comfortable with the group. Also friends from work were supportive.

One of the ladies I worked with would call me at home in the evenings. One night she called and told me to turn to Hebrews in the Bible. Every time I opened my Bible, it opened to the book of James. I told her this. She told me to read James then and later I could read Hebrews. James was what I needed to read that evening.

She was streetwise and I was very naive. I told her something one of the men at work said. She told me he had made a verbal pass at me. Luckily for me, it passed right over my head! I did learn to avoid that guy.

I think I was probably a "baby" Christian then. I began taking Bible studies at my church. We had an excellent teacher and I really learned a lot. It is very possible I would have been a "baby" Christian all my life. I probably would never taken part in those Bible studies had I stayed where I was in life.

It's a Big, Scary World Out There
Life as a single was so different. As one of my classmate's widowed sister told him - all the single guys were interested in was sex. She was so right. Single men who wanted to be "friends" were few and far between!

Every singles group had lots of "sharks" and "barracudas" - and they were males and females in both categories.

In an earlier post, I mentioned that friends often felt they needed to choose sides with the regard to the divorced couple. Not only do friends do this but so does the couple.

My ex-spouse's youngest sister was very special to me. We grew to be really good friends over the years. We talked on the phone often - and we talked about everything. I tried to continue this friendship but it was impossible. It was important to me to keep my life private. So I chose to end this friendship because blood is thicker than water.

So many things to learn! It can seem overwhelming. It is important to "grow" through divorce rather than to "go" through it.

Being Single.....again

I didn't expect to be single at age 48. It was not in my plans. It was a shock. What 48-year-old knows anything about being single and/or dating - and the changes in dating?

I grew up on the romantic movies of the 50s and 60s. You know, boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl and they live happily ever after. Happily ever after didn't happen for me.

Different churches had programs for singles. My church tried it. The leaders were a happily married couple (both had been divorced). It sounds like it should work but it didn't because grieving single folks don't necessarily want to be in a group where the leaders are happily married. So that group failed in a very short time.

I attended another group for a couple years at the Christian Church. The leaders were single. It was a good group probably because it wasn't a large group.

The group I attended the longest was Lutheran Single Again. It was non-denominational and held at the Luthern Church. It was an excellent group. We read books and discussed them. The very best book was "Growing Through Divorce" by Jim Smoke. This group had weekend retreats with motivational speakers. The leader by a psychologist.

I made friends there. We would get together to play board games like Tabu, Outburst, Trivial Pursuit and Pictionary. Sometimes several of us would go to movies. It was good to have friends with whom to share time.

Some Things I Learned

People who have never experienced a divorce in the family can be very insensitive. They usually don't mean to be unkind but things they say certainly can hurt people who are already suffering.

I discovered that those women who walked out on a marriage and those women whose spouses walked out on them have very similar feelings. I found this to be true because of my friendship with a lady who had two husbands walk out on her. I think twice would be totally devastating.

I attended several different singles groups. It was quite interesting to find that the widows looked down on the divorcees - I have observed that sometimes the widows advoided being divorcees because their spouses died before a divorce could happen.

In the scheme of things, it seems the widows are at the top of the social ladder; the divorcees whose husbands left them are in the middle and at the very bottom are those of us who walked out. Widows were much more accepted by other folks.

Friends of a couple who divorce think they have to choose sides. They really don't but most often they either choose sides or move on to friendships with folks who don't make them feel threatened. I found that married women are either intimadated by divorcees for one of two reasons: 1) they are afraid if it happened to me, it might happen to them. 2) They are afraid I might want their husbands - when I wouldn't want them if they were served up on a silver tray!

I noticed that most widows drove expensive cars. The rest of the single ladies - not so much. Although one lady commented that my red Beretta was a pretty nice car. She was correct. I really liked that red Beretta!

A New Road

I found a small apartment and moved in with a single bed, a dresser, my piano, my Mom's Duncan Phyffe dining room table and chairs and a small black and white TV.

Then for several months Chuck and I went to a marriage counselor. We met together with him twice. I continued to see him and learned so much about myself.

I used to describe Chuck as analytical, logical and reasonable. In the same breath I would describe myself as unanalytical, illogical and unreasonable. What we tell ourselves about who we are can be totally wrong - and yet we believe the things we tell ourselves are the truth.

At the beginning of the marriage counseling, I believed that I had never stood on my own two feet - I grew up sheltered and protected by my parents and 3 brothers, then by the dorm mother at K-State, and then by my husband. What I didn't remember was that I was the bread winner when we were first married while he was in school. I didn't remember that, when Patti was 6 months old, I packed Patti and our things and moved out of the rental house into an apartment. We lived on my teaching salary and without a car for six months.

Marriage counseling helped me so much. Chuck felt it was a failure because it didn't put our marriage back together. It helped me learn that I am a strong woman.

One of the side lights of the marriage counseling was the invitation from the marriage counselor for me to be part of a panel discussion about living alone. The marriage counselor was the moderator. The panel was made up of a widower, a never married, and me. This was televised on the local ABC station. It was an interesting experience. I think that was probably my five minutes of fame! ;-D

A Bend in the Road

I have been procrastinating about blogging for a while now. Today I've decided it is time to take on a difficult subject.

These are my memories of events in my life. These memories are filtered through all the experiences that have made me who I am today. Others will have a different perspective of these memories. This is ok because their memories are theirs and not mine.

After twenty seven years of marriage, I decided to get a divorce. Someone told me they just couldn't believe it because I was always happy and smling - "The happiest girl in the world." Other folks only see as much a we are willing to show them.

I didn't get married to "give it a try." My intention was to be the best wife and mother I could be for as long as I lived. I truly struggled with God's word about divorce.

All my "warm fuzzy" feelings came from my children. I was a good mother. I was the best wife I knew how to be.

A marriage grows and changes through the years. Romantic love turns into a deeper love as the years pass. A husband and wife share interests and grow closer. When this doesn't happen, one spouse may feel like he/she is a shell of a person. I felt like no one lived inside my body.

I do not believe in divorce but I know sometimes it is necessary for a person to continue living.

Tony

Tony and I spent lots of time together after Patti went to college and while his Dad was doing lots of traveling for Rockwell. We had the house to ourselves often.

We ate out and went to some movies. It was during this time when I bought a ten-speed bike. Tony rode it home for me because I had never ridden a bike that had more than one speed! Then Tony taught me how to ride the bike. I really enjoyed that bike. I had a route I rode on a regular basis.

It was time for Tony to apply to colleges. A recruiter from Rose Hulman Institute of Technology visited Marion High. Several of the young men in high school were invited to a dinner with the recruiter and several Rockwell engineers who had graduated from Rose Hulman were there. Tony called the recruiter "Snow Doc."

Tony was sold on Rose Hulman and he applied there. It was where he really wanted to go to school. He also applied to Iowa State in Ames. He was thrilled when he got his letter of acceptance. He received several scholarships, including one from the local Masonic chapter.

When September rolled around, we loaded Tony and his stuff and set out for Terre Haute, Indiana, where Rose Human was located. It was a men's college at that point in time.

He was pretty homesick so we visited several different weekends during the year. I also attended one of the musicals in which Tony had a part. That was fun.

His major was electrical engineering. His first roommate partied quite a lot - Tony cleaned up after him several times. Before too much time passed, Tony changed roommates.

He was active in the Rose Hulman Glee Club; they toured one year giving concerts at Marion Methodist, the Kansas City Christian Church where his uncle and aunt, Bob and Inez Smith attended. They made several other stops on that tour.

Tony said he was told the sophomore year was the hardest. He said he found each of the last three years was the hardest!

Patti

Patti graduated from Marion High School. She chose to attend Buena Vista College in Storm Lake. She auditioned for a music scholarship, which she received. So she packed up to go to college.

It was about a five hour drive. We loaded up the car and the four of us headed out.

Patti's Dad had become a fan of country music. It just happened to be "Loretta Lynn weekend" on the radio station. We listened to many hours of music with a Loretta Lynn song being played every other song.

It was many years before I could listen to a country music station - and I still don't want to listen to Loretta Lynn!! Enough was too much for me!

We got Patti moved in to the dorm. She had a double major in vocal and instrumental music.

We left her there and drove home. We were about ten minutes away when I cried. Tony couldn't figure out why I was crying.

It was hard to let Patti leave the nest. That time comes to all parents, however.

I visited the campus for Mother's weekend. One of the other mothers from Marion drove.

I also visited Buena Vista to see the musical "Guys and Dolls." Patti had a singing part. It is a really fun musical!

Patti transferred to Coe College in Cedar Rapids for the last two years. It was nice to have her back.

She practice taught instrumental music at Marion High. It was fun to watch her direct at one of the concerts.

The Latest Bracelets

I am sorry I haven't been doing much blogging. I decided I would add some of the latest in bracelets so you can see what I am doing.

The single bracelet is made of Swarovski crystal aurora borealis cubes and some antique-looking bead caps. The cubes were ordered for another bracelet I wanted to try. I tried it and didn't like it. So I decided that, since I have always liked these bracelets, I would make myself a bracelet. I like it very much.

The photo with the two green bracelets are "sidewinders" made with Czech green firepolished beads down the center. The each of these bracelets have different small Czech beads on the edges. The lavendar bracelet is called a "helix bracelet." It is the second one I have made.

The red, silver and black bracelet is made using seed beads and a square stitch. It was my first attempt at designing this type of bracelet. I learned some things and will make another, making use of what I learned on the first one.

The third picture (regardless where it is on the page) has a bangle bracelet and the aqua bracelet is a spiral pattern using several sizes of seed beads. I like it and plan to make another one in different colors.

I tried my hand at a triple spiral. It doesn't spiral exactly correctly. So I am going to have to try another bracelet to see if I can figure out what I did wrong.

That's it for this time. Tune again!

A Reason, A Season.....

Someone said that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. We've all wondered about this at one time or another. Probably many more times than once, over a lifetime.

Son Tony came home, after visiting the home of a new friend Jim and told me I really needed to meet his new friend's mother because she was really, really nice.

I took his adice and became acquainted with his friend's mom. Nancy was really a sweet lady.

Our families became friends and we spent some time together for several years. Jim was a year older than Tony and Jim's sister, Dawn, was probably four or five years younger than he was.

One Thanksgiving it snowed and ruined this family's plan to go out of town. So we packed up our dinner - turkey, potatoes, gravy and all the trimmings - and took it over to their home.

When we first got acquainted, Nancy was in remission from cancer. As the years passed, the remission went away. The cancer was back.

I was working half days so I visited her every afternoon at her home. When she went to the hospital, I stopped at the hospital every day after I got off work. Chuck would pick me up and we both visited her.

We went to visit Tony at Rose Hulman College in Terre Haute, Indiana, for the weekend. We had a good visit with Tony and his friends.

While we were away, Nancy passed on Friday evening. The funeral was on Sunday. We were driving home that Sunday. It was difficult to find closure.

So a reason - a season?

Family Dinners

Wednesday evening we attend "Food Court" at our church. Some of the women of the church prepare meals from September through May. It is a nice meal and only costs $4 for adults.

This past Wednesday, Patti and Michael brought 6-year-old Lynsie and 2-year-old Teygan. The girls' Mama, Jessica, joined us. The food was good and the fellowship was wonderful!

This brought back memories of Sunday family dinners at home when I was growing up. It was always a time to catch up with the happenings in my brothers' lives.

Mom provided good food and we all joined inthe fellowship and fun. My brothers liked to tease me, especially when I was a teenager. They made comments about any boyfriend I had at that time.

When I went away to college, the regular family dinners became more sporadic. Brother Bill moved to Colorado, Dick moved to Arizona and Bob moved to Kansas City, I believe. Then when I started teaching school, we moved to Junction City, Kansas. So these family dinners usually happened in the summertime.

Those family times then , as these times now, give us all a chance to make wonderful memories.

Lampwork jewelry

My first work using Melissa's lampwork beads. I also used Swarovski crystal, Czech pearls and seed beads. I made this one for me.

I am posting this because the creator of the lampwork beads is having a contest. Who knows, I might win something!

Christmas gifts 2010

Top is a gift set for Jessica. Second from top a gift set for Lisa.

The necklace below is another gift for me (from me). The set below is mine made with lampwork beads and Swarovski crystals.

I find joy in creating and giving beautiful jewelry to family and friends.