It's Important to Learn the Lesson the First Time!

Who would ever know there were so many lessons to learn when one becomes 'single again?' So much to learn that it sometimes seems overwhelming.

I learned how important it was to stay busy - and especially on special days. The photo was taken on my 50th birthday. It had been a wonderful day with balloons, flowers, phone calls and cards. All this happened at work. I figured it had been such a special day and I was tired, so I would go home and spend the evening alone. I did and it was a mistake! I didn't believe anything could spoil the day since I woke up singing "happy birthday" to myself!

The first months I lived on adrenilin and nerves, knowing that eventually I would crash. I slept from about midnight to 5 a.m. People knew they could call me late because I would be up. I learned to eat when I was hungry because I didn't have much appetite. One person saw me eating a donut and asked me how I could eat that. I told her I might not be hungry the rest of the day. Of course, the crash came and I needed to take care of myself - rest and eat right.

Dating was a challenge. I dated one man for about a year - fell head over heels for him. When he broke it off, I was crushed and shed lots of tears. Some months later he wanted to be part of my life again. I thought about it - and was tempted. There was a lesson to learn - and I didn't want to have a "do over." So I said, "thanks, but no thanks."

Lots and lots of lessons to learn.

Home

This was written first in 1992. There are some changes that I will write about at a later date. The left photo is of the little white house I grew up in many years ago. The right photo is of me in my condo.

It is strange how "home" evolves. I grew up in a small town in southwestern Kansas. The only house I remember is the little white house we moved the family of three boys, our parents, and me into. This small house with the front porch where I watched the world go by remains "home" in my heart. It remained home until 1955 when I married. Other places have become home over the years.

There was an apartment and a small house in Junction City that was home for a while. There was another small house in Odgen, KS; another apartment in Junction City that was home for Patti and me. Then we moved to Iowa and lived in a story-and-a-half rental house for a while.

About a year passed before we bought a house in Marion, IA, that was home to us and Patti and Tony. That house was "home" for twenty years. The children grew up there. The transformation from young married to having grown children occurred in this house.

My address changed as I moved into a very small apartment located in Marion. I remained there for eight years. It was small but secure and really only a place for me to sleep and return to at the end of the day. I don't believe it ever became "home" because I always referred to it as "the apartment."

I moved to Cedar Rapids December 18, 1989 - a move that I thought I would never make. Somehow I thought Marion would remain my place of residence forever. This changed when I moved into a condo on the northeast side of Cedar Rapids.

As I drove to my home, the trees and buildings make me feel a bit hostalgic. I loved the condo. It really became "home" for me. I found contentment and serenity in that lovely place that had my own personal stamp on it.

The summer of 1990, I returned to southwestern Kansas revisiting the little white house with the porch where I lived during my childhood. My mother, brothers and I walked through the empty house. I discovered it was just a house that was waiting for someone to come live in it to make it a "home" again. I also found that the "home" I lived in while growing up is always available to me because it lives in my heart.