A New Road

I found a small apartment and moved in with a single bed, a dresser, my piano, my Mom's Duncan Phyffe dining room table and chairs and a small black and white TV.

Then for several months Chuck and I went to a marriage counselor. We met together with him twice. I continued to see him and learned so much about myself.

I used to describe Chuck as analytical, logical and reasonable. In the same breath I would describe myself as unanalytical, illogical and unreasonable. What we tell ourselves about who we are can be totally wrong - and yet we believe the things we tell ourselves are the truth.

At the beginning of the marriage counseling, I believed that I had never stood on my own two feet - I grew up sheltered and protected by my parents and 3 brothers, then by the dorm mother at K-State, and then by my husband. What I didn't remember was that I was the bread winner when we were first married while he was in school. I didn't remember that, when Patti was 6 months old, I packed Patti and our things and moved out of the rental house into an apartment. We lived on my teaching salary and without a car for six months.

Marriage counseling helped me so much. Chuck felt it was a failure because it didn't put our marriage back together. It helped me learn that I am a strong woman.

One of the side lights of the marriage counseling was the invitation from the marriage counselor for me to be part of a panel discussion about living alone. The marriage counselor was the moderator. The panel was made up of a widower, a never married, and me. This was televised on the local ABC station. It was an interesting experience. I think that was probably my five minutes of fame! ;-D